The Enlightened Asshole
Why an "Enlightened Asshole" is not an Oxymoron
“I fart out of a big asshole.”
– Latif Fakhoury (my grandfather)
After launching a podcast called Enlightened Assholes React, I figured it might make sense to explain why I selected that name. At first, I was going to call it Enlightened Masters React, but then I remembered that the glory of enlightenment is that nothing is left out of it, including our assholeness.
What is an asshole? And no, I don’t mean the chocolate starfish, I mean the person who partakes in assholery. Here, I’m going to stick with a very simple definition, which is that an asshole is someone who regularly pisses people off.
Based off this definition, I bet you can easily name at least a few different types of assholes, right? You’ve got the self-absorbed asshole, the holier-than-thou asshole, the smarter-than-thou asshole, the aloof asshole, and so on… Mostly, assholery arises from some type of ego contraction, and since there are as many egos as there are snowflakes, it follows that there’s a cornucopia of assholes out there. Enter, the enlightened asshole.
“Strictly speaking, there are no enlightened people, there is only enlightened activity.”
– Shunryu Suzuki Roshi
The enlightened asshole understands the above quote at a deep & intimate level. They get that just because they’ve seen through the conventional fiction of being a stable & independent entity, this doesn’t automatically mean that their every behavior is going to be a) perfect, or b) appreciated by others.
The Korean Buddhist master Chinul once said, “Just because the Sun is out doesn’t mean all the snow will melt at once.” This is pointing to the fact that just because someone is awake to their true nature (i.e. enlightened) it doesn’t mean that all of their thoughts, words, & deeds suddenly come into alignment with their deepest wisdom. Waking down is even harder than waking up, and very few can appreciate this journey, since there aren’t many on the other side of awakening.
The enlightened asshole has thus realized that they don’t have to try and act perfect, because perfection only exists as an ideal. And also, because assholery is, to some degree, in the eye of the beholder. Why should we contort ourselves into pretzels trying to fulfill our ideals or those of others, when we know damn well that they’re bullshit?
So, the enlightened person, having transcended the ideals of enlightenment, re-enters the world in an attempt to reclaim their fullness. This is illustrated beautifully by the 10th of the Ten Zen Oxherding pictures, also known as Entering the Marketplace with Open Hands.
The enlightened asshole works to own whatever arises, as a manifestation of their deepest nature. Instead of shying away from the ego, theirs or others, they digest ego, one bite at a time. Num, Num, Num.
The enlightened asshole becomes fearless in their desire to include the entirety of reality, not as an ideal, but as a daily exercise in wholeness. And you know what, that can piss a lot of people off! Nothing makes others so mad, as publicly digesting the taboos that are normally repressed & denied–for example: claiming that one is both enlightened and an asshole.
The enlightened asshole cares more about freedom & fullness than they do comfort & stability. And they also realize how ridiculous it is, to claim to know better than others. All they know is that they don’t know, yet as Shunryu Suzuki rightly pointed out, “Not knowing does not mean you don’t know.”
The enlightened asshole knows how they stand apart from garden variety assholes. They can see that others are confused on the fundamental point, especially spiritual seekers, out there chasing the truth.
Those that have given up the chase, and are comfortable letting the truth come to them, will always make people uncomfortable. Their very presence, while it can be quite loving, is also intolerant of existential bullshit. They don’t believe your stories, anymore than they believe their own! Yet, the most mature enlightened assholes, also don’t reject the importance of stories, which is to say, they don’t buy into the story that one needs to get rid of stories.
“If delusion is awareness stuck in attention-traps, and enlightenment liberates awareness, does the spiritual path involve finding the correct story, or getting rid of stories, or learning to story in a new way?” – David Loy, The World Is Made of Stories
How would you story things differently, if your awareness was truly free?
Guess what, it already is…
Want to Chat with an Enlightened Asshole?
One of the fastest ways to become an enlightened asshole is to hang out with other enlightened assholes.
For the benefit of others–and also because my deck is falling apart and it isn’t going to replace itself–I’m working with a handful of people one-on-one, either in a meditation coaching capacity, or in a dharma teaching capacity.
Want to explore what that would look like? Schedule a short introductory call with me, and we can do that together!